Friday, April 8, 2016

The complexity of gender and simplistic views of equity for some proponents.

As a matter for sharing thoughts I give credit to those promoting gender equity. But in doing so, do not destroy the very goodness of the qualities that distinguish males from females and vice versa. Between men and women, there are more appreciable differences than just phallus and baka. That's how couples find interest and comfort in their relationships.

Generally women are more the anchor of a family than men precisely for the task they undertake which might seem mundane to some folks especially those who think gender equality is doing same work. There is a traditional Bhutanese home moral,  " phoja aumtsu lan-gu shey-ni dhi , chhi-kha khe ma chheb ain "( a man who takes over household chores is not capable of facing the task outside ). That was when men were considered the providers and women the keepers. My Mom was such a traditional fanatic and my wife too a true believer. So my Dad and I had no choice but to be successful in fields outside the home. Today every morning and evening, I bow before the portraits of Mom and Dad. I thank Mom for teaching me to trust my wife in building a happy home and I thank Dad for teaching me how to face the outside  world.

Of course now with both spouses engaged in routine 9 to 5 timetable jobs, this may not hold true. Still even in modern age men are expected to hold the family fort against outside world and women to hold the inside order of the family fort. So to reduce gender equality to equal cooking time in the kitchen is rather pathetic pessimism in an enduring couple relationship.  Also there are many household chores beside cooking that can be shared. And yes some men are better cooks and better nannies too. So do what you do better when it comes to family home life. Not out of equation compulsion but for love and efficiency. If the mother can better guide the kids in home works, Go Ahead ! Let the father burn the dinner. Its only one dinner, not the future of the kids.

Gender equity need not be so narrowly viewed because in reality not everything should be equal. The charm of feminine gender and bravo of masculine gender are beauties of opposite sex relationships.   Otherwise all may go for same sex marriage where everything is naturally designed to be equally same. Happy Equality can be found in appreciating the good qualities of the opposite sex and providing understandings for weaknesses.

No comments:

Post a Comment